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The Comeback Queen Gives Herself a Jolly Good Talking​-​to

by Flloyd with 2 Ells

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Originally written for a musical comedy that never happened, this is an expression of what it feels like to do endless "cattle call" auditions, from the perspective of a character who is trying to 'get back into the business' after a break to raise her family. The image is me (photo Alan Crumlish) on my 3rd 'comeback' attempt.


The comeback queen gives herself a jolly good talking to
(dedicated to anyone who has ever endured a 'cattle call' audition)

My heart is pumping madly
And it's going to my head.
My stomach cramps
I'm breathing badly
In a minute I'll be dead.
I want to die before it starts
Don't let me die up there instead.

Why, why do I do it?
Why do I put myself through it?
Try as I might, I can't do it right
I should give up the fight
[After all, who am I fighting but me, myself and I?]
I knew the rules when I started
My fault if I'm getting down-hearted.
I've been here before
I know the score
I can make it once more.
[There now, all you needed was a good talking to]

You don't want money–
So you say
You don't want fame–
Not right away.
You don't want lovers–
Well, maybe just one
One would be fun
Not too young
But still handsome.

What is it, makes me carry on?
What is this strange disease?
Pushing me out into
The big bad world
Of heartache, rejection
And nasty little sleazy men
Who don't know their arts
From their Antipodes!

Please! Let me have faith
There's no point in wanting
And hoping and needing
Unless I can keep myself
Wholly believing in me.
That’s the way it must be - It must be.

Some folk believe in nothing but work
Others in nothing but fate.
I'd like to say that the will has a way
Of working for those who don't hesitate.

The power of positive thinking
Is stronger than anything seems.
When you think of a deed, as a deed, indeed
You're halfway to living your dreams.
[And if you believe that you'll believe anything. However -]
Dreams have a funny way of coming true.
Don't try to make it
Unless you can take it
All the way through.
Don't hitch your
Wagon to a star
Unless you've an excellent
Head — and voice — for heights
You may be carried too far
Out of mind, out of sight...

Stick to your
Life of fantasy, safely cocooned from the
Real live world. But if you want a
Chance to see how the grown-ups live
Something's gotta give...

Why, why do I do it?
Why do I put myself through it?
Try as I might I can't do it right
I should give up the fight
Only – maybe - not tonight!


released October 11, 2020
words and music Flloyd (with 2 Ells) Kennedy


all rights reserved



Flloyd with 2 Ells Liverpool, UK

Singer-songwriter and performance poet, Aussie-born Flloyd lives in Liverpool UK, and teaches voice/accent/accent and public speaking skills online.

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